Crown Princess Mary of Denmark

Australian "Love account manager" and gold-digger who married into the Danish Royal Family in 2004. Known for using pointy-toed stillettoes to nail the balls of Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark (aka 'the Dumbling') to the walls of a share-house in Sydney, Australia, on their first date. Famous for crying on Denmark television as she recounted her love for her dead grandmother - before a reporter revealed he had found her letters in Mary's trash bin. The Danish Royal Family invented the 'post-nuptial agreement' as damage control in the wake of revelations about Mary's relatives, who include a convicted child rapist, Brendan Johncock.